My Heart Can't Sing

There's a worship song that has the lyrics "My heart will sing no other name than Jesus." As I sang that this morning in church I had to just stop and pray because I had the realization that most of the time my heart sings everything BUT Jesus.

This semester I've truly learned what it means to abide in the Lord. John 15:5 says "I am the vine, you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in Him produces much fruit because you can do nothing without Me." The first post I ever wrote on here was my testimony. The more I've written the more I've shared, like my struggle with pornography. And like all sins we struggle with, it's freaking hard to stay focused on Jesus. When you're in the middle of a sin cycle or prideful thought or anything not honoring God, is your heart singing Jesus? No, it's not. Most of the time my heart sings "My desires. My plans. My ways. Me. Me. ME."

So how can I change that?

Let's go back to John 15. The first 8 verses are all Jesus commanding us to remain in Him. When we cling to the Vine and press into Christ, we can't NOT produce the fruit of His Spirit in us. When we seek Him His character flows out of us into our daily lives. In verses 9-17 Jesus tells us how to love like He loves. When we cling to Him "our joy is complete" (v.11). Verse 16 tells us that Jesus has chosen us. Let me reword this more directly: 

The Creator of the UNIVERSE

CHOSE YOU.

So how does this relate back to your heart singing the name of Jesus? 

When you cling to the Vine that IS Christ you will not fall.

Romans 8:12-17 tells us that we do not have to live in our sin anymore! "By the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body you will live. All those led by God's Spirit are God's sons. For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry out, 'Abba, Father!' The Spirit Himself testifies together with our spirit that we are God's children, and if children, also heirs- heirs of God and coheirs with Christ- seeing that we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him."

In the midst of our sin we can cry out to our Father - Abba.

In Christ you do not have the spirit of going back to whatever sin or condemnation that broke you.

I'm not saying you're going to be the best at this. I fail in my flesh every day. It's spiritual warfare which sounds terrifying because it is.

But listen 

You're not fighting for victory

You're fighting from victory

As a child of God, He has already paid the debt for your sins. You're are covered and loved because of the blood of Jesus. 

Jesus has fought and won the hardest war for your life and you get to rest in that and trust Him through the hard circumstances life throws at you.

Most days your heart is still long for that fleshly desire more than Jesus. But you are forgiven and you are redeemed and you are victorious. 

When you abide, your heart and life will scream the name of Jesus.

"Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurancethe race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus,the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God’s throne." Hebrews 12:1-2

What Are You Missing Out On?

Jesus just rocked my world in my quiet time with Him tonight. 

And I'm going to be honest... I haven't been spending daily time with Him while I've been home for break. I've wanted to but it's not been a priority on my day to day busyness of being home and when I lay down to go to sleep I always tell myself "I'll try better tomorrow."

But what if I'm missing something so beautiful the Lord has to show me or give to me but I'm missing out on it because I'm not fully in tune with Him?

Just let me get started on what Jesus showed me:

Luke 2:8- "And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night." (KJV)
- I made sure to note that this is KJV because of the word "abiding" - Why? - Just wait -

John 15:4&5- "Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. 5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing." (KJV)
- Catch where I'm going with this yet? - Yes? - No? - I'm about to give you an earful anyway.. - Keep Reading -

I don't think its a coincidence that Luke talks about the shepherds abiding in the field when he gives us his account of the birth of Jesus.

[The word ABIDE means: to remain or continue; to stay or live somewhere]

In the classic Christmas Story of Luke 2 we see in verses 8-12 that the shepherds were approached by an angel and told of the Messiah.

Why shepherds? Shepherds were outcasts and despised and dirty.. why were these people first to be told of the birth of Jesus?

- Because the Love of Jesus excludes NO ONE -

"Not only did God humble Himself by sending His Son to earth, but He included the lowly, despised and looked down upon to be a part of the special day that would forever change history. From the very beginning, God was making it clear that everyone would be offered salvation through His Son." - Kate Grounds

But what IF the shepherds hadn't been in their fields abiding?

.... They would have missed out on the most extraordinary blessing of all time. 

Another thing I want to connect between these two passages is that the shepherds lived and stayed with their flock of sheep.

And in John 15 Jesus says He does the same with US!

- Us - His beautiful and most valued yet sinful creation -

He abides, continues, stays, remains in us - ALWAYS.

Jesus doesn't just abide with us when it's "convenient" for Him or when "we're all cleaned up" or "on our best behavior"

NO.

Your Father stays & remains with you through your good days and your darkest days. He is with you when you're fervently seeking Him and when you're doing everything you can to push Him away. He is constantly pursuing YOUR heart.

Why you might ask?

After all I've done?

After I've lost my virginity?

After I've cut myself?

After I've looked at porn?

After I've smoked pot?

After I've lied?

After all the horrible things I've done in my life that have been unpleasing to God?

Why me?

I'll give you TWO reasons:

1) 1 John 4:9&10- "In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. 10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins." (KJV)

[Propitiation- the removal of divine wrath]

2) John 3:16&17- "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved." (KJV)

He loves you.

You are loved so extravagantly by your Father.

I hope all of that made sense and that this Christmas we don't look at the birth of Jesus in such a nonchalant way that we're so accustomed to hearing every year.

I hope this year that we look at the Christmas Story as the beginning of God's love story for us. The birth of the Messiah is just the beginning of His love story for each and every one of us no matter who we are or what we've done and I'm so thankful that I'm known by Him.

What blessing(s) are you missing out on by not constantly and consistently abiding & remaining with Him?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suMhQ3ETCyI&feature=youtu.be

The Chopping Block: What's Next?

Well, I'm down for a couple days with strep and I haven't posted in four months so I thought I should probably do that.

As this semester is coming to an end all I can think about is how crazy it's been. Crazy in a good way. Not saying I've not had my struggles this semester, because believe me I have, but God has allowed me to see His goodness in it all.

At the beginning of this semester I held a leadership role on my hall where once a week I would lead 4 girls from my hall in a Bible study and not only did I get to do that but through that, I got to know each of those girls so much better and build awesome relationships with them. However, there came a point where my circumstances in life really challenged my view of God and I became angry with God and began to push away His truths. In all of this I stepped down from my leadership position because I didn't feel like I was in a position to lead my girls because I wasn't practicing the things I was trying to teach them. I wanted them to be effectively poured into and ministered to; so, I gave up my position. 

You might see that as just another failure in this life and think that I've moved on from it. You could think that and you would be partially right. For a few weeks, I saw it as a failure. I saw myself as a failure and a disappointment; but, I didn't move on from it and I'm glad I didn't. Me having to make that decision has become a big mile marker in my life. Now I can look back on that (even two months later) and see God's goodness in it. I no longer see that point in my life as a failure. I look at that point and see it as a set back that set me up for something so much greater. 

And that thing that was so much greater?
    -Growing significantly closer to my Father.

[Side Note: whatever temptation you're struggling with, whatever decision you're having to make, whatever happens in this life rest in the FACT that God is always always always better. Rest in that and pursue Him with everything that you are.]

I still haven't let that go. I have learned (and still am learning) so much from that experience and because I took a step back, I got to grow more than I knew was possible. Seeing where I was then and now is a lot different and it's all happened in the span of one semester and I thank God daily for the things, good and bad, that have led me to where I am right now. 

So if you're feeling like you something is holding you back from being in a closer relationship with God, you might be right. My question to you is: The thing(s) you're holding on to, is that thing helping you run towards Jesus? Or is that thing slowing you down? 

It could even be a good thing that's prohibiting you from getting closer to Jesus. 

Are you willing to place that thing, good or bad, on the chopping block before your Father (who LOVES you and only wants His best for you) and let Him do what He wants with it?


So that's just one part of what's been going on this semester.
And I would honestly really love to hear what you guys think and if you want to know more of what God has been doing this semester.