Thursday, April 16, 2015

You Choose- Fear or Father

This week has been by far one of the hardest that I've had in a long time. 


  • Sunday I felt something in my spirit that wasn't settling right.
  • Monday I found out that my best friend is physically fighting for her body to be well.
  • Tuesday I got in an argument with one of my best friends here at Liberty.
  • Wednesday I couldn't even worship or even talk to God because of the negative attitude I had developed and how resentful I was feeling.


Nothing in my life was going the way I wanted it and I felt like everyone and everything was crumbling around me.

I started to become terrified of what else life was going to throw at me next. 

I took the anxieties of everyone else and put them upon myself and Satan took that foothold and made me scared and in desperate need of some kind of control. I naturally took a tight hold of my eating disorder because I knew that no one else could control what happened in that aspect of my life and I let Satan feed me the lie that if were "prettier" or what the heck ever that my life wouldn't be as bad as it was in this past week.

I bought into that and held on.

But through this week God still blessed me.
Even though I wasn't taking care of my body properly

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Even though I wasn't in His word or praying 

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Even though I had completely turned my back on His truth and was trying to deal with all of these issues in my own way....

God still provided for me and blessed such an undeserving sinner

GOD IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL.

If I'm being totally honest I didn't plan to write this and I'm not sure what direction it's even going in.

But what I do know is that while I've run from God this week, He's pursued my heart relentlessly and after reading this: https://courtneypwarren.wordpress.com/2015/03/18/no-such-thing-as-fear/ and listening to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1RQciil7B0 I felt the arms of my loving Father pick my soul up and cradle me in His arms and just love on me in the most gracious and undeserving way and tell me that He's got it; that I don't have to live in the constant fear of Satan attacking me because I AM HIS DAUGHTER and He has me right where He wants me.

He's blessed me with exactly the right people.
He's put me in the middle of the perfect storms so that I could be reminded of how much I needed Him and how I can't do this life on my own.

2 Timothy 1:7 tells me that "God hasn't give [me] a spirit of fear and timidity, but of POWER, LOVE, and SELF- DISCIPLINE."

Power in HIS name.
Love that He so freely pours out upon us.
Self- Discipline in His will and proclivity to run TO Him in the hard times.



1 John 4: 16 & 18 reassures me that "16 We know how much God loves us and we have put our trust in His love. 18 Such loves has NO FEAR, because PERFECT LOVE EXPELS FEAR."

You are HIS SON and HIS DAUGHTER.

He is working ALL things for your GOOD. Not to harm you but to help build a lasting relationship with your Father in heaven who will NEVER fail you or give up on you or walk away from you!!

- God is still God and God is still good - To God Be The Glory -

- You Can't Do Life Alone -

- Growing People Change -

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