Speechless Yet Thankful

Words can't describe what I'm actually feeling right now but this is my best shot haha

As I'm sitting here writing this my heart is just overflowing with happiness, joy, and thankfulness. 

As I reflect on all the opportunities I've had this summer I can't help but thank God for each new relationship I've made.

In May I got to go to Africa for 18 days and a team I barely knew getting on the first plane became such a close family and important part of my life by the time we got off the last plane. 

After Africa I got to start serving at [FUSE] which is the youth ministry of my church back home. I thought this ministry had changed my life as a student; I had no idea what I was in for as a leader. I started serving with the VIP Team which welcomes and signs in students who are coming to [FUSE] for the first time. We get to connect with them and build relationships and then see them after the service and continue growing that relationship over food and drinks. My first night serving, I made relationships with other leaders that I plan on keeping for a very long time. I thought that this experience was God confirming His calling me into youth ministry but little did I know what He had in store. As camp (GauntletX) approached I got apprehensive as to whether I was even good enough to be a leader and whether or not my story meant anything. Then NewSpring called me and told me they wanted to use my story as part of a project they were working on for the church and that blew my mind. Guys I gave my life to Jesus one year ago and now He's using my story to reach others in such a vast way like woah. So things progressed in that and then Gauntlet happened. 

I walked in so nervous about leading the three girls who were going be to be in my room and the moment I sat my bags down to load on the bus, God gave me such a dear dear friend to do life with that week. I got to serve alongside Morgan all week and I couldn't imagine having any other girls be in my room. Their stories and their hearts spoke volumes to me and they taught me so much. That week was when God said "Hey this is the stuff I want you to get to do for the rest of your life" and man if that's not the best news I've ever heard! 

Tonight I just got done serving one of my last weeks at [FUSE] before I head back to Liberty. Tonight I got to say thank you to some very important people in my life for always pushing me and encouraging me. Tonight I realized how amazing of a summer I've had. Tonight I realized that I wasn't supposed to work at a camp all summer because if I had, I wouldn't be going back to school with these absolutely incredible people being part of my life. Tonight I am so overwhelmed with joy and thankfulness that I don't know what to do with it but write about it and thank God for every single second of it. 

So that's my summer and to you it may not seem like a whole lot but to me, this summer has been life changing and one of the most important seasons of my life.

At the beginning of the summer I felt so dry and yes I was in my word and being encouraged but all I had to go on every day was my knowledge of the Lord because my faith just wasn't feeling it. But through this I've learned that my faith isn't about just "feeling it." It's about waking up every day and ,no matter what I'm feeling, pursuing God with my whole heart because He has greater things in store for me than I could ever ask for or imagine.

I had the summer I had for a reason. Each new relationship I made had its purpose. Each lesson I've learned, I get to take back to Liberty and to the student ministry I serve with up there and God is going to continue to use me in huge ways because of what He's taught me in this season. I don't know what's ahead in this life but I do know that I'm so excited for the journey the Lord has for me.

I wish I could better explain all of the emotions going on inside me right now but this is the best I've got.

To you who made it this far in this post, thanks for reading.

If you've read this all the way through and you've been apart of my summer in any way at all, thank you. Because you where were God wanted you at the right time, you made a difference in the 3 months I've been home. You have made this one of the most memorable summers of my life and I am so grateful to you.