Excuses, Excuses.

I wasn't planning on writing tonight

But a conversation with a great friend of mine earlier made me come to a realization that I should have noticed years ago.

I have made excuses for my addictions; my habits; my sins my entire life.

We all do sometimes right?

I mentioned in my previous posts about my addictive behavior and how THAT was to blame for all the sins I committed.

No.

No it's not because of my "addictive behavior" it's because I chose time after time to sin. I chose sin. I chose what was worst for me. 

I was talking to a friend earlier about whether or not I should go to a party because I didn't know if alcohol would be there or not and if there was I didn't think I'd be able to "trust myself" not to get drunk.

Wow what an excuse.

An excuse I used to foreshadow my actions for years.

"I'll go but I don't trust myself not to drink."

What I said before EVERY party so that when I did get drunk, which I fully intended on doing every time that line came out of my mouth, I didn't feel as responsible.

Every single time I opened a bottle of liquor or can of beer, I knew exactly what I was going to do but because I convinced myself that I wasn't in control over it, I didn't feel guilty about it. 

Alcohol never became a true, struggling addiction for me but when I went through counseling for other things, alcohol was definitely a covered topic and how and why I shouldn't become dependent on it.

Any-who,

After I told my friend that, she suggested to get someone to keep me accountable and then followed up with: 

"Or you could hold yourself accountable that's always an option"

When I first read that my first reaction was "yeah right I dont trust myself enough" then I realized what a copout. I'm going to go to this party and if there is alcohol, I'm not going to drink at all and that's that. 

Is it one of my wisest decisions?

Probably not.

But I feel like I have something to prove to myself and I intend on doing just that.

I guess this blog will be short in sweet in saying:

Stop. Making. Excuses. For. Sin.

You can MAKE time for Jesus daily.

You can discipline yourself to not take God's name in vain.

You can resist the things that make you weak and tempt you.

With Christ, you CAN DO ALL things.

Hold yourself and your actions accountable with God.

*Philippians 4:13 ~~~ 1 Corinthians 10:13*